I'm officially done with finals now and what a day I had. It was so strange. I mean I woke up kinda late, moped around, took a shower than left a little later than I would've liked. My art project, which was the CD cover, inside and back came out a complete disaster and honestly I was so embarrassed when I presented it. When I gave my little presentation I mixed up my words and sounded so nervous. I could hear my own voice shaking and it was in front of the whole class. Not just that, in front of PJ no less. I didn't want to ever look like an idiot in front of him, but I'm pretty sure I accomplished that today. Luckily, I did well enough on all the other projects that I should still be able to get an A for the class. Uh, but that was just terrible. Why do all my final projects turn out such rubbish? Well, except for Graphic Design, that was a different story. PJ and I had a weird little moment right before we went into the critiquing room. The lights were off and we seemed to be one of the last few people in the room. I was already perturbed that the files were not linking correctly when I was sending them to the teacher so when I got up I kinda banged my purse on the desk and stood up rather harshly. When I was completely up there I was standing face to face with him. He had stopped and was staring at me, I didn't know what to do but I believe I glared at him a little harshly because I wasn't expecting to change my expression. Yes, there was definitely something there because I could feel it between us as we both stared at each other for much longer than a second. It was strange, but looking back at it I thought it was very sexy.. haha. Too bad I spent the rest of the class embarrassing myself. Who knows if he likes me now, I am rather fond of him, but then again he's smooth and cool. I'm NOT.

Besides my disastrous class, that's not the only thing bugging me. Jenna got so pissed at Daniela and I when she came back today! When she found out I had already gone to sell back my books she basically walked back out with Nikki and didn't say anything. Daniela was right, she can be so selfish and such a baby sometimes. Needless to say that I didn't need her attitude and I was not going to put up with it. Especially after her little reply to my text apologizing saying a mere 'yeah whatever'. That really got me going. The stupidest part of this is that she came back acting like we were all cool and was talking to me again. Of course I played along because I'm not one to pick fights, nor did I think it was the time to stand my ground and give her an attitude back letting her know that her behavior was not tolerable. I've said it before and I'll say it again, just like what Taylor had done to me: sure I'll still be your friend, but I will never forget how you've treated me and when things are all said and done, your actions are how I will judge you. Before class was over she told me she was not mad at me before, but at Daniela. Yeah, okay! That's why you gave me that awful text message bitch.

Still never called back Amy which sucks because I told her I would call. Dang it. Sorry Amy! Tomorrow definitely girl. Speaking of tomorrow there are some things that need to be done such as doing more Christmas shopping, playing tennis with Jimmy, hopefully talking to Mike, and last but not least, writing on Pedro's (and/or Tom's) wall wishing them a great winter break. OMG, I'm so terribly scared to though, you have no idea! I really hope they respond to my kindness at least. I just wanna be friends! Geez, this is going to be terrifying, but I really need to do it. I've got to. I didn't see any sign of them today and it was very depressing so something must be done about this. When I was driving home I felt terrible, but I stopped myself from crying again. I'll tell you why I'm upset and so not looking forward to break. I won't be seeing Tom or Ped, I may get my wisdom teeth out/get a check up(which is almost certain), I won't see PJ (and what a way to end on a note), I'm loveless, yet I sense boys being attracted to me, but nothing is done about it, Jenna proved she is capable of treating my like dirt when I've hardly done anything wrong, and we aren't going on vacation so nothing to really look forward to. It sucks. Of course Christmas will be great, it is not about the presents to me anymore though, there's a deeper meaning. I praise you my lord.

Ohhh, I'm so deprived of pro tennis write now it's not even funny! I need to watch. I'm going to set some goals for myself for next semester, which include watching tennis in Tom and Pedro's room hahahaha. No seriously, I'm going to kick ass next season and when we go to St. Mary's I will finish what I started back at last year's NEC. I'll bring it, don't you worry.

Okay, I'm going to bed. I'll write again soon. Cheers!

Hi everybody! I wanted to wish everyone a very happy Thanksgiving and a great mini holiday break! Well, if you can imagine I am going through withdrawl after Monday night and I'm going crazy! I need to go see UTIOG again and I don't care if I have to go to Florida just to see them play! Ha, they'd probably think was stalking them. I SO would if I didn't have college to contend with. Also, now that the the ATP tour has ended offically for 2006 I'm kinda depressed about that as well. No more tennis on TV, how sad. Can't wait for the Austrailian Open in January but that's a few months away. I finally found the songs to Under the Influence of Giants older cd, but online only. I still don't have the files for the songs to Bitch City but I'm praying someone will e-mail them to me. I've been playing them almost all day and I'm so addicted to them. The reason I had so much trouble finding these songs in the first place was that I didn't know they were still under the name of Home Town Hero when they made these songs. Glad I cleared that up. There's another thing bothering me and that is the decision to make a myspace page. I've put it off for song long simply because I didn't want one and have to deal with it, but now I'm realizing I could still probably keep in touch with the band members from Under the Influence of Giants. If I did I'd need to take all that time adding all my friends and crap so I didn't look like an idiot who just got myspace... ahaha. Yeah, so I dunno. I'm leaning towards not making one right now. I'm so glad I got to talk to them in person, can't wait to do it again! Oh and before I forget, I just uploaded one of my videos I took at the concert on YouTube. It's short and not the best quality but I hope you guys like it.



Anyhow, I had a good Thanksgiving and I'm so full now, It was great to see my grandparents again, I love them! Talk to you all very soon. Cheers!

Ah, I have to love Wednesdays. I only have one class early in the Morning and then I'm free for the whole day. After class I get to eat breakfast and go back to my room and relax if I want to. Today I got to play tennis with Chrissy for a solid two hours and it was me who set it up. I was hoping to see at least one of my boys out there hitting, but I guess it just wasn't ment to be. That's the only way I can look at it. A few other guys from the boys team came and hit so at least we had some company. On the way back to the dorm I actually ran into Tom and Pedro seperately! Ha, it was great. Only I got bad vibes from Tom who just merely raised his hand at me and kept walking with his headphones on. I was the idiot and went all out to say 'Hey Tom what's up?' Haha, it was a little weird and I think I said it a little too shyly as well... damn. Then with Pedro I just decided to say 'Hey' and play it safe. He said hey back at least.. haha, he recognized me which is good too. Or maybe it was just because I had my tennis bag, sweatshirt, clothing, and shoes on so I was kinda hard to miss. Hmmm. I have such horrible judgement when it comes to these things it's ridiculous. Anyway, I'm not supposed to be caring right?! I just have to let things happen as they may.

Good news!!!!!! I'm offically going to go see Under the Influence of Giants next Monday night!! OMG I can't wait! They are going to be absolutely AMAZING! I'm must bring my camera and and phone and I want to meet them too! I'm so freaking excited to see my favorite band! I love how no one really knows who they are either, I only have to pay $10 to get in. This is just going to rock my world, I still don't believe this is actually happening! I have more good news to report as well. Rafa won his second match against Robredo so he still has a chance to make semifinals..... GO RAFA!

This week is going by so fast it is ridiculous. On Friday I have to host the host one of the tennis recruits and I'm very nervous, I hope I do a good job! Alright, well I have to go eat now. Tomorrows another busy day. Cheers!

It was a week ago today that I had that great day, you know, me getting to play tennis, finally meeting Tom, and getting to run with them on their two mile run and all. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for the rest of my week. It was actually, quite horrible to be honest. My beautiful laptop, my baby, locked up on me and then wouldn't restart. I lost all of my files! Everything! The only thing I was able to recover was my purchased music from iTunes, but that is it. The thing I am most upset about is my tennis/Rafael picture archive. All those great pictures that I may not be able to get again. The only good thing I can say about losing those picture files are the memory I'll be saving from not having on my computer. As I sit here at 12:20, I'm contemplating whether or not I should go to class because I would really rather not. Actually, I'm not going to. I feel particularly bad right now and last night I was the closest I've ever been to retching and not actually doing it. It was horrible, and I still don't feel all that great. I was so close to sticking my finger down my throat just so I could feel better. I was planning on going to class today and I started reading and as you know already I am a sucker for quotes. I found one in my reading of Chapter 11, here it is:

"We think of what has dissappeared, we are almost destroyed by what has been destroyed; we do not know what will be born, and we fear the future, not without reason.
We hope vaguely, we dread precisely; our fears are infinitely more precise than our hopes; we confess that the charm of life is behind us, abundance is behind us, but doubt and disorder are in us and with us.
There is no thinking man, however shrewd or learned he may be, who can hope to dominate this anxiety, to escape from this impression of darkness, to measure the probable duration of this period when the vital relations of humanity are disturbed profoundly."


I love this statement because it makes you look at your life and how negatively you view it. If we could only look through a positive lense and enjoy every moment and try to see the good that comes out of everything we would all feel better about ourselves. A few days I also remembered one of my favorite poems, or whatever the correct form of language it is, The Seafarer. I read that in my textbook for english my senior year of high school and I fell in love with it. The way that it's worded is just exceptional. I've also go to redo my inspirational piece.

On an exciting note, and I really hope that everything falls through, is that Under the Influence of Giants is playing in Philadelphia on November 20th!! I want to go so badly, and it is only $10.00 per person! They are my favorite band I want to hear them live more than you know! I feel like this could be my only chance, we shall see how it turns out. Also, I'm going to get my hair highlighted today and I'm quite nervous, but I think it will turn out fine. Yesterday I went home for a little bit to pick up something. It was pouring ouside, but I still ran and worked out. I felt SO good afterwards because I know I'm pushing myself now, more than I ever have to get in better shape. I will not be second to any freshman on the tennis team. I don't think so! I'm going to show them who I am, I will be ready! :-) Also, I was just thinking. Yesterday I had my tennis banquet at Te's house and I flet so uncomforable. When we were driving back we were talking about the possible incomming freshmen and how only one of them would fit in it seems. I just realized that these girls they don't like are probably so much into tennis that they seem rather stand-offish. I just realized I might be that way, but I don't let them see that part of me, that's why I don't fit in. So in reguards to these really good players, you are welcome to come!

I've got to go now. Cheers!

Well it's Friday night and I'm still here in this f'ing dorm. I don't really want to be here right now, and in fact i'd rather be home, sleeping in my own bed, and awiting my haircut tomorrow, hopefully. Today was an okay day, nothing compared to Monday of course, but tolerable. I got to play tennis for a little bit, with Vik.. cough cough. He's laying on the flirt again and I'm HATING it! I'm not into him like that and I think we could be great friends, but if he keeps it up this way we're just going to have a little repeat of last year. I'm not going to do anything with him that way... I just don't like him like that! Maybe if he tries to make another move on me, I'll just come out and tell him I just want to be friends!! I wonder how he'll behave then. But anyway, I don't want to talk about him anymore! And my roomies are really pissing me off with this whole White Castle thing holy shiesa! Seriously get over it, I don't want to eat there because I heard their food sucks, I don't care if you think it's good I'm not putting that shiesa in my body.

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Whew, okay I've calmed down now. I just got back from the play I went to go see and it was rather disturbing. I'm not going to get into it now.. haha. Tomorrow I'm planning to go home and get my haircut, then comeback later to go see the movie Borat, which I can't wait for! I know it's going to be hilarious! Anyway, nevermind about tomorrow, I cried a little today after I got off the phone with Dad. He had just dropped of my laptop at the Apple Store and they said that there's a good possiblity that all my files are lost. Dad paid an extra $53.00 for them to "try" and save them. Are you kidding me?! It's not definite that they can be saved! All my amazingly beautful Rafa pics... GONE! Most of them I won't be able to get back now that VamosRafael shut down. That depesses me just thinking about it. I'm not gonna even get into my iTunes files...

So enough about that, if I see Pedro or Tom tomorrow, which isn't likely, but if I do, I shall ask them how the soccer game went and then maybe invite them to go see Borat with us. How awesome would that be? That would be a huge step for me, but hey I'm desperate at this point.

Okay, I'm going to go do something else now. Cheers! I'll write again soon! I CAN'T wait for Thanksgiving break!!!

Ahhhh well, these past two weeks have been rather interesting. I mean with all the tennis going on and all. I'm so extremely stressed out because tennis has been conflicting with my classes and I've been falling behind. I haven't really discussed these matters with any of my teachers which is probably the worst part of all. I'm not being responsible enough! This past weekend we went all the way to Pittsburgh and I missed one of the classes that I haven't gotten off to a great start in. At least today I talked to him about it and I still had the chance to make up what I missed. Anyhow on the weekend I thought I played some pretty horrible tennis. I mean, I beat the first singles girl from Robert Morris, who best the girl from SFPA, but I lost to her. There's something about that one that frustrates the living hell out of me. At least I took a set from her and felt a little better, but I played horrid in both doubles matches! Ugh, doubles.. why? I need Rafa to teach me how to play better doubles because he seemed to be amazing at it when I saw clips from his Davis Cup match with Verdasco. At the end it was so funny because he collapsed in a rather sexual way on the clay with Fernando on top of him..hehehehe! Wish I could've been there! Rafa is absolutely amazing to me, he inspires me to do everything better in my life and to reach for my dreams. I LOVE YOU RAFAEL!!

I was looking on MSN earlier and I saw my horoscope. It related to tennis and I just thought I was rather funny:

You may have the sense that something is going on around you that you just cannot seem to grab a hold of, dear Virgo. Your mind is bouncing this way and that way, as if you are watching a ball at a tennis match. Things may be changing rapidly around you, and you may feel as if it is time for you to jump on the bandwagon as well. Look before you leap and go with the flow. Remember that the best decisions are not always made with the brain, but by the heart.

So there you go. Well, I dunno what else to say now except that I just finally got a text message back from Jesus from Casa after texting him on Saturday night. Should I make him wait as well? Hmmm, we shall see, I'll probably give in like I normally do. His text message made me laugh. It said 'Hi mi amor its your mexican lover' LOLZ! It's great, I just need to talk to Ulises now...<3 :)

Well, I must go do some homework which really sucks, cheers!

It's raining again for the second day straight, only when I had class this morning did it decide to downpour! I got soaked, but I'm okay because I know I don't have to go back out there again, and in a little bit I think I might lay back down. I do have another class today, but it's all online so I don't need to go back out there, thank god. Yesterday our match was cancelled and it's certainly looking as if we might not have practice today either because it's raining even harder. To be honest I'm not in the mood to practice today anyhow. My parents think I'm coming home tonight and I wasn't sure if I was going to or not, but now it seems I might have to. My computer is not letting me onto the website that I need to take my class on. GR. Tomorrow is another free day for be because I have no practice, but if I do go home I'm going to run like two miles and then work my ass off in tennis because I was not happy with the way I played on Wednesday. On Sunday we have to be waiting outside for Te to pick us up at 7:45 in the morning to go to Delaware, which is really gonna suck, but I do like the traveling. I wish we could go to William and Mary instead. Hehe. Oh man, I'm tired now so I think I'm going to go. I wish tennis was still on, honestly I wasn't satisfied with my us open visits this year, partly because of work and partly because I should've freaking talked to Novak and flirted with Roger! Argh, next years gonna be different! I'm going to be fucking playing at the US OPEN okay! Cheers!

Last night I got back from vacationing in Virginia for a whole of three days, not even. We spent most of Tuesday and yesterday traveling back which took over six hours. It was a long drive but being as I am, I enjoyed seeing the farm land and other areas of the US. Overall, I had a great time and it was way too short, but I've got to think of how much money we are saving for a better vacation that's going to be better planned for winter vacation. We were thinking of going to the island of Turks and Caicos, which is about forty-five minutes from Miami by plane. That would be so amazing to see with its pristine views and crystal waters, not to mention being in warm weather when everyone else is freezing their asses off back home. Haha, there's something cruelly satisfying about that! Everyone thinks this way so don't give me grief! If we were able to go anywhere during winter it would be to Mallorca/Spain. I know my Spanish is rusty, but we'd learn quickly enough if we went there. Not only is it the home of my biggest idol, Rafa Nadal, but I'd just love to see the Mediterranean. Speaking of Rafa he was playing his tennis match today at a time where I was able to watch him without having something to do. The first set was extremely tight between him and Juan Carlos, and he ended up losing the first set in a tiebreak after looking mentally frustrated and actually physically tired, which occurs once in a blue moon. They were on serve in the second set at four all when an ominous rain cloud decided to show up rain on the court! Now there's a rain delay and I'm stuck watching the women play, although I can't complain because atleast espn decided to keep showing tennis. Personally, I'm annoyed at how little the sports stations care about the sport. Those bastards. Anyway on Tuesday, the night we got to Virginia, they had Roger Federer playing at 11:30 at night, but since we all woke up at 4:00 that morning we weren't able to watch him play. The next day he played Andy Murray, and to my baffling surprise, Federer lost to him! I saw a little of the recorded match and Roger didn't look like himself. I'd never ever seen him look so sad, worn-down, and tired. It's not like him to show his frustration, but I wish he had because it was upsetting to see him just looking completely shocked. If I could give anyone a hug right now it would be him. Maybe I'll get the chance....

Chrissy and I are planning to go to the US Open qualifying rounds for two days, then I'm going with my dad the day after that hopefully! I really want to see Rafa again, I'll never forget when he passed right by me an arms length away.

While we were in vacation we went to Colonial Williamsburg and Jamestown, but Williamsburg was really amazing. The people were dressed in that time period doing reenactments and we got to walk in the same original house that George Washington actually spent time in. There were guys at the brick making area that seemed to be around my age. He singled me out and asked me my age to see what I would be doing if I worked there, but my parents think he asked for other reasons. I hope they're right because he was really cute and had the nicest blue eyes. I couldn't stop looking at him. He mentioned that it took over a millions bricks to make The College of William and Mary and thats when I realized that that college was around there. I had no idea that the college was actually at the end of Colonial Williamsburg. We walked down that end and saw a little bit of the campus. It is beautiful. I wouldn't mind transferring there, but right now it's just something I may look into, especially if I find out that brick-making dude goes there..hehehe. I don't see how, but you know I'm just saying.

It's almost time to go back to school and in a way I'm looking forward to it, and in another way I really would rather not go back. I don't want to see the tennis team again and I classify Chissy as my friends, not just a teammate. Kaitlin making the whole fucking thing worse and do you know what, I don't give a shit about her. I'm not going to conform to what she thinks is cool, sorry. Oh shit, another tiebreak for Rafa, it just came back on. I'm leaving now, Cheers!

I had originally intended to post an entry at the beginning of August, but I feel like I haven't been able to do much of anything lately. My life has been consumed with work and if you ask me how I stand right now with work, I will say that I stand rather well. At the beginning of the week however, I wanted to leave and never come back as some of them, I believe, got the wrong impression of my fox shirt. Weird looks odd glances and whispers that may have been about me were fended off the entire night. It seemed like everyone knew something I didn't. The feeling made me sick to my stomach and as silent as ever. First off, if I was just a poser they guessed wrong, and if they made any other accusations about me, they're probably wrong as well. You see they haven't taken the time to get to know me well enough, and I'll bet they think they have me figured out. Argh, that frustrates me! Then yesterday things started to get a little better. Kris and her daughter were not going to come in today because they were going to a concert, and it's a good good thing they didn't either. I was the latest I've ever been for work... 30 minutes!! Luckily, no one noticed that I was that late. I was busy with my family searching for kiyaks! When I came in I realized Jesse had called out sick (which we all know he isn't... jerk!) so it would just be the three of us working the desk. I believe it turned out very well and people got to see that I was capable of handling things under pressure. Now, for the best part that I have not mentioned yet. The new guy, Ulises, is very nice and quite good looking. We have talked for a little, but I cannot say how he feels about me. I'm interested, but I'm afraid to know how old he may be... Please let him not be around 30!! He's another one that thought that I was 14-16ish!!! AHHHH! People, for the record I'm 18 years old soon to bee 19 in a few weeks!

Well, I was actually able to get my dorm room switched for next year before school starts. I was very surprised and elated that they allowed us to switch like that, and I really appreciate what they did! Now all I must do is call my friend, I do not know why I'm so damn hesitant.

I can't wait to watch the US Open series Toronto event that is this week too! Rafa and Roger are both playing this one and I think everyone is awaiting yet another rival match, no? I certainly don't mind!..;-) I hate saying this but I'm really looking forward to working Tuesday now with it being a little less busy. Hehehe. We shall see what happens I'm not going to jump the gun on this.

I was almost to the point of being livid yesterday afternoon while I was on the phone with Dad. He was looking my tennis match schedule up online for this weekends tournament and he found out that I'm not schduled to play until 4:30 tomorrow. I'm supposed to be at work at 5:00, so obvisously it's impossible to do both. I can't bring myself to tell Kris, the boss, that I might to miss another Saturday in a row. It is absolutely out of the question, especially after last Saturdays mayhem. I ended not calling until after my second match and it was just extremely late notice. The first thing she said to me when I came in the next day was 'never do that again'. Ugh, my stomach sang when she said it, and reliving another episode of that is something I want to avoid. Even if it means missing, what could be, my only chance to get revenge on the firl who beat me last weekend...ARG!!! She deserves to lose because I'm much better then her! Sorry if this sound ignorant, but you should see this girl play, she doesn't have the right strokes or footwork when she plays, she just find a way to get to all the balls and in the court. Then those goddamnned lob balls! I haven't pulled out yet because we are praying that it rains, like they are predicting, in which case they would reschedule the matches hopefully making it a time where there wouldn't be any problem with playing.

Anyhow, I've got to leave for work in less then an hour now, but I really don't feel like getting ready. I'd much rather sit here on the couch and look at Rafa Nadal pictures of him and his girlfriend having fun on the beach. They are so cute together, but how I wish to be her! I need a tennis player boyfriend or something too! I can't wait to watch more tennis on TV and I'm desperate for the US Open! One of the biggest things about watching my passion on TV is understanding how successful they are at what they do. I want to be a successful tennis player next college season and show them all that I am not messing around anymore than I have. I'm going to do what I want and if they don't like it, screw them, that's all I have to say. They can keep fooling around all they want.

This is going to sound absolutely horribly of me, but one of my friends just broke up with her boyfriend I think and it was for the best though. She had an unhealthy obsession I believe. Who knows, maybe she'll stop selling me out now, we'll see. Okay, as much as I want to write some more I must start getting read now. Cheers everybody!